A fanfiction writer's warning
by Perc Mad Hatter
Summary: *completed* A parody of 'a Christmas carol'. Warning: Lame jokes are unhealthy. You have been warned. Eddie, i hope ur happy now...
1. Why is everyone except me dead? Eddie

A Fanfiction Writer's Warning  
  
A/N: This is an improved version of 'Ghostwriters', which I showed to my friends. I couldn't continue as it was turning itself into this story. and my apologies, Lybra. Your part isn't very major. and Eddie, dun look so horrified after u read finish this chapter alright?  
  
Disclaimer: HAH! I belong to myself and only to myself. Lybra, Razz, Elena and Fenny all belong to themselves. I wouldn't want to have them either. Clutter up my room. And Eddie is entirely herself. Who cares if Dickens' story is similar to mine? It's my fic. Btw, this a pathetic attempt to write a disclaimer so fanfiction.net can't grumble at me. * a ghostly hand reaches out and tries to stop I.S.C. from typing some more. It succeeds, by pulling her into the spiritual realms. *  
  
* Some time later. *  
  
N/B: I'm back. I dun like the ghost world. I like my comfy bed more.  
The Story Proper  
  
It was a dark and stormy night. There was a storm raging outside, where the lightning serpents fought and bit each other. The thunder giants were crying once more and so, in the mortal realm, it was raining heavily.  
  
All these reasons were suppose to persuade the obstinate writer, Edana Crevans to go to sleep. Stubbornly, she refuse to heed the Powers That Be, resolutely staying firmly at her seat.  
  
She was typing the latest chapter of her romance fic, 'You, carrot top'. " Cindy fluttered her eyes at Sakuragi." she thought aloud, greedily typing in mushy phrases, romantic notions and sentimental sentences,  
  
Finally she finished the chapter. She read through it twice, to proofread it and to savour the sickening romance in it. She smiled smugly and prepared to post it.  
  
Just then, if one noticed the time, it was 11.58pm. Two more minutes and it would be midnight, commonly known as the Witching Hour. The air stilled, growing colder as an ecktoplasmic manifestation prepared to appear. The heraldic air blew, feeling rather bored.  
  
Our raven-haired, bespectacled friend ignored all these as she concentrated on the arduous task of posting a chapter. She sweatdropped. (I think that's how it's used.)  
  
As Eddie clicked on the button 'Save Changes', the small, pink alarm clock beeped twelve times to signal the arrival of midnight. It beeped, " Eddie, go to bed." It beeped a censored beep and went back to sleep.  
  
In front of the door plastered with Rukawa posters, a cloud of mist solidified. First, the cranial appendage appeared, then the limbs and finally the body formatted, completed with a white coloured blouse (with the two red Chinese characters at the top right-hand corner) and a white pleated skirt.  
  
This soothing or sickening (depending on how you look at it) sight (Eddie's school uniform) was marred by horrific pink hearts pasted on the ghost with rotten rose bracelets and flames licking at her hands.  
  
The ghost waited.  
  
However, due to the diminutive size of the tormented spirit, Eddie completely ignored it.  
  
That is of course, until the ghost spoke. " Oh no!" she wailed. " I'm suppose to knock on the door chillingly before making a dramatic entrance!" She knocked on the door, too lightly to be heard and advanced towards Eddie. Eddie shrank back and looked amazed.  
  
Another ghost appeared, this time in ordinary Nanyang uniform.  
  
The new arrival spoke, " Razz, I'm sad to say that you have only 1 hour to turn Eddie from the cursed path of the Romance Fanfiction writers! So you can't chat for too long."  
  
Razz, or rather the deceased Razz pouted. " Lybra, stop ordering me around! I won't chat over time."  
  
Throughout the entire ghostly conversation, Eddie had frozen with shock and turned ghastly white.  
  
" I thought I saw you in school today?" she blurted out, looking rather dazed.  
  
" Alas, the world is filled with dangers and The Powers That Be decided our lives were to end today. We're ghost officials now! Naturally, the High International Cursed Curator Undead Panel (Hiccup.) has judged us worthy of important posts. And as to the matter of our deaths, I died of cerebral haemorrhage because of thinking too much. Lybra died of hypoglycermic shock from not eating during recess. Fenny laughed too much and died of a stomach rupture. Si En had a stroke while teaching Elena Chemistry. It turned out to be fatal. Elena died as well, not of a guilty conscious but because of pure blurrness. She was eating and doodling at the same time. She accidentally swallowed a pencil instead of the soggy vegetables, had lead poisoning and died. We're all dead. Now, we're employed by the ghostly fanfiction.net panel now."  
  
Eddie blinked, feeling rather overwhelmed by the onslaught of morbid news. She asked, blinking stupidly, " What's your job?"  
  
Lybra answered, " We're both Romance-deterrence officers, class B. why do you think she's dressed in such a disgusting costume?"  
  
Eddie nodded in understanding, not trusting her voice to response suitably.  
  
Razz attempted to boom and sound forbidding. " 'Ware, friend Eddie! Turn from the dread path of Romance, before it's too late! I myself died before I repented of writing rubbishy romance fics. Now, look at my state! Doomed to be a wandering ghost, condemned to warn astray fanfiction writers of the folly of writing romance."  
  
Throughout the supposedly spine-chilling and dramatic speech, Lybra was nodding in agreement, her mouth twisted sardonically.  
  
She recited along with Razz the last two lines, sounding rather bored, " Turn! Turn before it's too late!"  
  
Both of them slowly faded away, waving mournfully. (They thought they were waving mournfully. Whether they were is another matter altogether.)  
  
Eddie hastily asked, " Why are both of you in school uniform?"  
  
Lybra replied, " Because we died in it. except for Elena. You may expect three more ghostly apparitions, our mutual acquaintances to visit you. The first will appear at one o'clock. Farewell. ."  
  
Eddie blinked, staring at her favourite poster of sweaty basketball players.  
  
" I didn't know they died. hmmm." She mulled over the ghostly visit while munching on bananas. She climbed onto her bed, patted the fishes printed on the bed sheets and closed her eyes. She soon fell into a deep sleep, lulled by the soothing rhythm of munching bananas. 


	2. The Clock Strikes One

The Clock Strikes One  
  
The Second chapter to the infamous ' A fanfiction writer's warning'  
  
A/n: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I have returned once more to my fic to slander my friends. This chapter is dedicated to Fenny, who was sick last Friday. May her health improve. Hope ur better, fenny.  
  
Disclaimer: damn. Why do I have to go through the motions of this useless thing? Nono, I don't want to say this story doesn't belong to me. gah. Not again. Oh heck, the whole world belongs to me. So there. Now stop reading this ridiculous disclaimer and read my fic.  
  
The Clock Strikes one.  
  
Morpheus was watching Edana Crevans. It was the highlight of his job to watch Eddie's dreams. It was truly amazing the way her fevered imagination could produce such original and unrealistic love/romance stories. It had always been Morpheus' secret vice, romance fiction. But because of his job, he never had any free time or off-days to read such trashy romance. So it was a treat to have people like Eddie around. he practically salivated at the thought of the juicy love triangle in ' You, carrot top'. Ahhhh, Cindy and that redheaded guy and that Ren, he thought.  
  
Which was why he was so upset when Eddie showed signs of departing from the realm of the dreams. Morpheus howled in protest, " I only got her for one hour! One miserable hour!!! NOOO! She can't leave! I forbid it!"  
  
Not that the alarm clock cared about the King of Dreams. It beeped once to signal the time. Then, it beeped several censored beeps to get it's slovenly mistress awake. Finally, it shut up when the prone body on the bed stirred, finally showing some signs of life.  
  
" Damn alarm clock. What time is it?" groused Eddie, peering blearily at the pink alarm clock. " What the @#$@#$%! It's only one in the morning!" She smashed her fist against the alarm clock. However, that did no damage whatsoever to the clock. It was used to such violent treatment. " Freaking thing. * beep * "  
  
" Eddie!" admonished the plump ghost which had just entered the room. It closed the door softly and turned to face Eddie. The ghost was dressed in an inconspicuous; you guessed it, Nanyang Uniform.  
  
" Yargh! Fen! What are you doing in my bedroom? How did you get past my father in the study hall? He would have noticed you coming in. And why are you dressed in the school uniform? And erm. Why do you look so transparent?" Blabbered Eddie as she shuffled disbelievingly towards Fenny. She stuck out her hand to pat Fenny on the back. She tried to do so. To her utter horror and shock, her hand went through Fenny's back. It felt very cold, as though she had stuck it in solid carbon dioxide.  
  
Eddie sat down. She was in shock. " Owwwww." She complained, as her body hit the floor, hard. " I thought I was dreaming about you all about being dead!"  
  
Fenny smiled gently and sweetly, " I'm dead. Really. Anyway, Razz asked me to show you your former untainted self, so that you may repent of your wayward ways and become an orthodox anti-romance writer. Personally, I think this entire affair is pish-posh. I do support your romance fics, after all, there is freedom of expression. But the problem is that my boss insisted that I do my best to convince you not to write romance. sigh. Since I have only one hour with you, off we go! Or to quote Superman, ' Off, off and away we go!'"  
  
They disappear in a haze of green smoke, leaving the room smelling of bananas? Oh, no wonder, Eddie had left two half-eaten bananas on the bed.  
  
Eddie and Fenny found themselves in a family hall. It was Eddie's childhood family hall. Her former self was seated on the carpet in front of the television. Her parents were comfortably seated on the sofa behind Eddie. They were watching " Snow White and the Seven Dwarves".  
  
Eddie turned to Fenny, frowning, " What does this Disney show have to do with my romance fics? I don't see the connection."  
  
Fenny shushed her, with tears in her eyes. A ghostly tear splattered on the floor. " I love this show, it's so touching. too bad they don't screen it in Ghastly Brothers' Cinemas. Eddie, be silent and watch."  
  
Soon the television was showing the part when the Prince kissed Snow White.  
  
Young Eddie turned around and asked her father, " Dad, why is that Prince kissing Snow White's lips? Is she his daughter?"  
  
As her father opened his mouth to answer her, the older Eddie smacked her hand against her forehead, moaning, " Me and my big-mouth."  
  
Eddie's dad replied, " No. He's just a very good friend of Snow White."  
  
" You mean they are good friends? But she doesn't know him!"  
  
" Well, they are going to be good friends, so he kissed her to erm, wake her up."  
  
" Why?" queried the ever curious Eddie.  
  
" There is no why! Be quiet! I'm watching the show! Daddy will tell you later, alright?" soothed the father.  
  
The older Eddie blinked. " Now why did I say that?" mused Eddie. " I thought that I-huh?"  
  
They had time-jumped to a pitch-dark area where fan girls were screaming " Legolas! AHHHH!"  
  
Eddie blinked. " I like Legolas, he's cute."  
  
Fenny nodded her head. " Yep, he's so beautiful. Well, this is when we were watching 'The Two Towers'. See, we're there." She pointed at the three figures in front of them. It was Fenny, Eddie and Si En.  
  
Fenny and Si En had covered their faces with their hands and were devoutly wishing the mushy romance scenes would end. On the other hand, Eddie was alternately staring at the screen in fascination and laughing at her friends.  
  
" Is it over yet???" whimpered Fenny, not daring to look.  
  
" I don't think so." Si En peeped at the screen. " Urgh. It's not finished yet. indecent rubbish. waste the time."  
  
" Eddie laughed. " You two. "  
  
Five minutes later. " Now, is it over?" asked Fenny.  
  
" Er, yes." Answered Eddie.  
  
The dead Fenny looked solemnly at Eddie. " Look at your unwholesome liking for romance. hm. One more scene before I bring you back to your old time- frame. You will kill me if I don't let you have enough sleep for your next visitor. "  
  
Once again, they time-jumped, this time back to Eddie's bedroom. However, they were not the only ones there.  
  
Her cousin, Ben was in the room. The pudgy porpoise-like boy was playing computer on Eddie's Pentium 2. He was vigorously banging on the keyboard. His little sister was watching him with an adoring look on her face. Eddie nearly chocked when she saw the ill-treatment her computer was receiving. Fenny restrained her, holding on to her ghostly hand.  
  
When Ben had lost to the computer fifteen times in a row, he banged his fist on the CPU and tried to kick the monitor. Eddie looked positively murderous. she strode towards Ben and punched him. Unfortunately, her fist went through his head. The only ill-effects he suffered was a slight chill. All in all, it was a most unsatisfying punch. Poor Eddie had to satisfy herself with muttering expletives.  
  
The slightly miniature Eddie walked into the room, took one look at the computer and nearly freaked out. To be more precise, she nearly whacked Ben on the head. With admirable discipline, she only growled in a mildly threatening tone, " Dessert's here." Ben scramed, running towards the dessert.  
  
The younger Eddie went over to the computer and petted it, to make sure it was alright. It was not alright. It had hanged.  
  
Both Eddies exploded with anger. The younger one shout-wailed, " DAMN BEN! MY computer! My fanficitions! MY romance fics! AHHHHHHH!"  
  
Fenny turned reprovingly to Eddie. " See! You are obsessed with love stories! Repent! Repent before you are doomed forever!"  
  
Eddie nodded, not entirely convinced.  
  
Fenny asked Eddie, " You know, what I just said? Do you understand what I showed you?"  
  
Eddie shook her head.  
  
Fenny sighed. " Well, what is the moral of the story?"  
  
Eddie smiled widely. " Not to eat bananas in bed!"  
  
Fenny rolled her eyes. " Eddie, how could you!"  
  
Eddie asked, looking rather curious. " Hey Fenny! What's your job?"  
  
Fenny looked surprised. " I'm the Spirit of Realistic Stories. You know, my usual stuff."  
  
Eddie nodded. At least she understood this part.  
  
Fenny looked worried. " My time on earth is through, I have to leave. farewell! When we next meet, may you not be burdened with the crime of writing romance." She waved distractedly as her ghostly manifestation disintegrated.  
  
Eddie stared at the wall, as the posters rearranged themselves into the way she had last left them. She blinked and looked at the pink alarm clock. It was 1.05am.  
  
" Huh? Now when did Fenny say the next ghost is going to appear?" Eddie stared at the two banana-peels on the bed. " Ewwww! Who left them there on my bed?!"  
  
She bent over to pick up the undigested banana bits and saw the note Fenny left on the bed.  
  
It read: Dear Eddie, the next ghost will appear at 2am. Happy dreaming. Love, Fenny.  
  
Eddie cursed, " WHAT THE * beep * ! One miserable hour! How do I sleep comfortably for one pathetic hour! * beep * ."  
  
Grumbling, she climbed onto the bed and tried to sleep. As if by some enchantment, Eddie fell into a deep sleep once more.  
  
Morpheus was quite happy to see her again. The alarm clock was annoyed. Of course, Morpheus didn't care whether the pink alarm clock was annoyed or not.  
  
I t 


	3. The Clock Strikes Two

The Clock Strikes Two  
  
A/N: the second ghost doth appears to bewilder the poor writer, Eddie. Behold, the Ghostly Kame approaches! * ducks from a rotten egg * QUIT IT WU GUI! Anyway, I have been reflecting on my rather nasty treatment of Wu Gui. so this will probably be the only apology I'm going to issue.Sorry Wui Gui if I'm too nasty.So as a sorta sorry present, I hereby dedicate this chapter to Elena, that dratted girl who scored six marks more than me in the a maths test. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  
  
Disclaimer: Heck. I don't care. No. Like. Disclaimers.  
  
THE CLOCK STRIKES TWO  
  
Morpheus was slightly mollified at having Eddie back. He smiled and enjoyed the fic that Eddie was dream-writing, about Rukawa's sister, that watshername, Kurokoka, or something that. ahhhh, the perfect Mary Sue.  
  
He was abruptly brought out of his deeply reflective state when he felt Eddie slipping away from him once more. Morpheus screeched, " Dammit! I hate stopping at Cliffies. stop! Let her finish the next few lines! Dammit." He growled as Eddie's dream form disintergrated.  
  
The cause of Eddie's awakening was seated on the floor, calming screaming over her 'Hiei and Kurama' poster. She was quite composed over it, actually, by Elena-standards. Since Eddie was not expecting the ghostly visitor to scream, she joined in, if only out of surprise. Apparently, the alarm clock also enjoyed screaming. It joined in joyfully, ringing it's silly pink head off.  
  
Eddie's father, who was working in the adjoining room, was not pleased with the noise level. he yelled, " Eddie! Get to bed! I'm working!"  
  
Eddie and Elena immediately clamped their mouths shut. The alarm clock kept on ringing. Only now, it had decided to vary the noise with beeps and rings.  
  
Eddie hastily and viciously smashed the alarm clock to the ground, damaging the pink monstrosity permanently.  
  
The room as silent, except for Eddie's ragged breath and her small crow of victory at finally spoiling the hated alarm clock. She remembered to glare at Elena.  
  
Elena looked vaguely sheepish, kept the first poster, took out another anime poster and prepared to start screaming in ecstasy.  
  
She looked extremely alarmed. Immediately, she dove at Elena, trying to prevent any more ghostly screaming. She went through, as was the case with most ghost, and banged her head on the cabinet. " OWWW!" she yelped, rubbing the bruise.  
  
At least she didn't bang her head in vain. Elena didn't start scream. She was staring at Eddie in puzzlement.  
  
" Ah, Eddie-san, why did you go through me for? I'm a ghost!" Elena exclaimed in Mandarin.  
  
Eddie replied in the same language. " Stupid Wu Gui, I was trying to save my skin! My dad would have killed me if you screamed once more."  
  
Elena blinked in surprise. " Why ever for?" ( They were still conversing in mandarin.)  
  
One of the Powers That Be shouted from the Place That Is. " STOP SPEAKING IN CHINESE! THIS IS AN ENGLISH FANFICTION, NOT A CHINESE TEAHOUSE OR SOMETHING!"  
  
Both of them blinked. " Fine," they grumbled, in mandarin.  
  
" WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SPEAKING IN CHINESE?"  
  
" Ok!" Elena shouted, pointedly in English.  
  
Eddie scowled. " It's bad enough that I'm being changed to another person in this story, I also have to endure silly incidents like this!!!"  
  
Elena shrugged. " I'm merely a pawn in the hands of the writer, don't complain to me!"  
  
Eddie scowled, looking remarkable like Si En. Which was not a good sign. That could only be one Si En in the world. So Si En the writer quickly edited that portion.  
  
Eddie scowled. She did not look like Si En.  
  
Elena hurried, " We don't have much time now. so hurry up! As I was saying. why did you try to kill me again?"  
  
Eddie sighed impatiently. " Because my dad could hear you."  
  
Elena objected. " No he can't! I'm a ghost! Only you can hear me."  
  
" Ai-yah, why didn't you say so in the first place? Now he thinks I'm nuts." grumbled Eddie, staring blackly at Eddie.  
  
Elena sulked, " Not my fault."  
  
Eddie growled most Si En likeishly. " You fault."  
  
Elena groaned. " Stop sounding like Si En!!!"  
  
Eddie looked mildly horrified. " Oh no! I hung out with her too often. sorry. As you were saying?"  
  
Elena continued, " Let's go to somewhere safe, where I can scream at you in comparative comfort."  
  
Eddie nodded, her eyebrow raised sceptically.  
They trans-time-realm-located, to a nice rolling blue plains. There were nice fluffy yellow clouds in the nicely spinning red sky. The golden grass felt nice and velvety.  
  
Elena waved her hand, indicated this strange and pleasant place. " My cubbyhole. In the ghost world. I store all of my fanfictions, manga, posters. basically, my preciouses." she hissed, failing entirely to sound like Gollum.  
  
Eddie shuddered convulsively. " That was awful!!!" she protested.  
  
Elena smiled sweetly. " Back to the original topic. your fanfics! I protest! I hate O.C.s. they are too perfect! Sickeningly perfect! Nooooooo, I protest! And how could you have named Si En Lavender? That is the most un- Si-Enish name I could think of! 'Stauch Fan', the plot was so, urgh! Clichéd! Horrific! Inexcusable! How could you!" ranted Elena passionately. She paused in her enraged tirade.  
  
Eddie looked totally surprised. " I thought you liked romance."  
  
Elena smiled sheepishly. " Well, I do actually. I'm sorry for giving you such a hard time. Cos Si En and Razz forced me to do this! It's not my fault! I swear, em, by Enali."  
  
Eddie simply looked relieved. " You mean you didn't mean what you said?"  
  
Elena explained, " I meant what I said, but I was not thinking about your fanfictions. so don't worry."  
  
Eddie smiled in utter relief. " So you mean, my stories aren't clichéd, boring and horrific?"  
  
Elena hummed and hawed. " I heard nothing!"  
  
Eddie scream-ranted, " WU GUI!"  
  
Elena put on her falsely innocent look (which happened to look only stupid and not innocent at all) " who me?" she fluttered her eyelashes at Eddie, a pathetic attempt to look and sound innocent. It obviously wasn't convincing.  
  
Eddie purpled.  
  
A note appeared in front of her. The lavender tinged paper had bold indigo words written on it. It read: Nice colour. After both Eddie and Elena read the note, violet flames consumed the paper, first turning it into ghostly ashes, then to ghostly nothing.  
  
Both of them purpled.  
  
Another note of the same hue and of the same message appeared once more in front of the two affronted girls. It also self-destructed in the same way.  
  
Both of them screamed in exasperation. However, since they were in the ghost world, the majority of the ghost population could not hear Eddie. So it was thus that Elena's ghostly scream rang out in the ghostly air, sending ghostly shivers down several ghostly spines and thus creating, you guessed it, a ghostly effect.  
  
Her neighbours William Shakespeare and Roald Dahl, both screamed back.  
  
" Cease thy unseemly noise!"  
  
" Go and boil your head!"  
  
Elena winced. " Sorry fellas!"  
  
Shakespeares commented loudly, " Rude young upstart!"  
  
Elena scowled. She stopped scowling when her ghostly elephant-shaped clock waved it's trunk and trumpeted thrice. Once again, she winced.  
  
" Uh oh! I'm running late! Uck, off you go! Si En is going to kill me! Shoo!" Elena chased Eddie back into the mortal realm with a panicked flick of her wrist. Too late, Elena realised her clock was half an hour fast. Eddie had already disappeared back into the mortal world.  
  
" Damn."  
  
She hurried scrawled a note for Eddie and sent it via ghost-post. The fee for emergency postage was 2 ghost Kou. Elena grumbled about the unnecessary wastage of money until her neighbours yelled at her to shut up.  
  
Back in the mortal realm, Eddie found herself on the floor of her kitchen, dressed in her black pyjamas. She frowned as she realised Elena had probably misjudged the distance by a little. Eddie shrugged as she opened the refrigerator's door and took about another bunch of bananas. " I'd better take a sleeping-pill to get some sleep. there's still school tomorrow, oh, it's today."  
  
She scared the furniture silly because of her black pyjamas on the way back to her room. When she reached her room, she found a note with the words: ghost due at 3am.  
  
Eddie frowned. At this rate, I'll never get any sleep! Stupid Wu Gui. Stupid Fenny. Stupid everyone." As she said this, her posters stared at her reproachfully. " Fine, you guys aren't stupid."  
  
She climbed back into bed, too tired to peel the bananas. She stuffed one unpeeled banana into her mouth and fell asleep.  
  
The banana fell out of her mouth and landed next to her pillow. It was not amused. after all, it had been expecting an exciting trip down Eddie's oesophagus.  
  
The house slumbered. the poor unfortunate Eddie only had half an hour's sleep in line for her. a certain short, grumpy ghost was due to visit her next. 


	4. The Clock cannot Strike Three

A fanfiction writer's warning  
  
A/N: Well, I finally get down to typing out my thoughts. sorry for the long wait. This holiday is giving me a horrible mental block.  
  
Disclaimer: My fics, my plot, my characters. Got a problem? * glares *  
  
The Clock could not strike three  
  
In Eddie's bedroom, all was quiet. Save for Eddie's snorts and snores. The smashed alarm clock was attempting to moan for a doctor. However, since no object there liked it, it was left on the floor with its respective smashed parts. The posters on the wall were having a silent basketball match. Why silent? Because gentle, sweet Eddie had tried to set fire to Sakuragi's poster when he woke her up in the middle of the night.  
  
The epitome of feminine behaviour was sprawled on her bed, snoring uproariously. A squash banana mess was next to her, wishing it had never been taken out of the comfortable refrigerator.  
  
It was three o'clock in the mortal and ghostly realm. The clock made a pitiful attempt to ring thrice. It failed miserably. Thus it was that a grey kitten appeared in the room unheralded by the clock.  
  
The small and diminutive kitten looked at the snoring Eddie. It scrunched up its nose and leapt onto the bed, scratching the pink alarm clock on the way. It disdainfully avoided the banana mess and sat down in front of Eddie.  
  
It mewed once. Eddie didn't stir. It meowed again, sounding rather impatient. Eddie was as still as a sack of potato but certainly not as intelligent. Annoyed, the kitten sat back and regarded the slumbering human.  
  
It smiled a smile that would have made Eddie back away in terror if she was awake. How unfortunate that Eddie was fast asleep.  
  
The kitten licked its paw and slowly faded away. It reappeared in Eddie's dream. It was in a huge basketball court. The kitten scrunched its nose again and swiped at Eddie's dream form. Eddie yelped and the scenery changed back to Eddie's bedroom.  
  
The kitten advanced towards Eddie's face again. It batted at Eddie's face, claws retracted. Eddie opened one sleepy eye. The kitten looked offended and swiped at Eddie once more. Claws out, this time. Both of her eyes opened and she swatted the grey kitten away. The kitten sailed through the air and went through the wall. Eddie rubbed her eyes. " What the!" her dream self exclaimed, sitting up in bed. The door opened and Si En, her friend walked into her room.  
  
" Hi, Eddie," greeted Si En, looking slightly transparent.  
  
" What are you doing here! First Blurblock than Lybra. After that, Elena and Fen Hui. Now you walk into my room! Go away, I want to have a proper night's sleep." grumbled a disgruntled Eddie.  
  
Si En frowned. " My dear Eddie, I am in your dream right now. anyway, wake up!" Shouted Si En, startling Eddie so much that she fell out of the dream (and her bed), thus landing on the land.  
  
Eddie finally woke up. She looked around blearily. She saw Si En seated in front of her. "YARRRGH! I thought you were a dream!"  
  
Si En scowled. " What do you mean by a dream? I may be a ghost, but I'm still a spirit, not a mere dream!"  
  
Eddie rolled her eyes, used to Si En's arrogance and belief in superiority.  
Si En's voice turned serious, " My Dear Eddie, I am the third and last ghost to visit you tonight. I have come to urge you to stop writing romance. It is frightfully bad for your health! Who knows, you might be injured by a rampaging cat or killed by a lovelorn fan who doesn't like what you are doing to her beloved SD characters."  
  
Eddie blanched. She could tell a hint when she heard one. " Now now dear lavvie. erm, I mean Si En, don't get too hasty now."  
  
Si En's eyes gleamed dangerously. " What did you call me?"  
  
Eddie automatically responded, " Lavvie, erm no! I meant Si En, of course. What else would I call you?" smiled nervously.  
  
Si En saw purple. " HOW COULD YOU! I DO NOT ANSWER TO THE NAME OF LAVVIE! NEVER CONTEMPLATE THAT NAME EVER AGAIN!!!" she shouted, looking remarkable alive and angry.  
  
Eddie back away. " Now now, Si En. Don't get hasty. it was merely a little joke. Really!" She moved to cover a piece of paper she had printed out.  
  
Si En scowled. Eyes narrowed, she noticed Eddie's not-so-subtle attempts to cover something. She stalked over, walked through Eddie and read the paper. It was a printed copy of 'Aho', with the reviews attached. She saw that one review was highlighted. It read: By RPG Hui, You should also make this a LavenderXSendoh fic. It would be fun. :D.  
  
Eddie paled, know Si En would definitely explode.  
  
She was right. Si En exploded and then imploded. Enraged, Si En bellowed, " WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THIS! I DO NOT LIKE GUYS IN THE FIRST PLACE! And if I wanted a boyfriend, I'd choose a guy that isn't a spiky hair egoistic brat!"  
  
Eddie snorted. " As if." Once the words were out of her mouth, she regretted it. For Si En purpled upon hearing that snide comment.  
  
" EDDIE! Quit it! I mean it. if you dare write a LavenderXSendoh fic, I'll kill you!"  
  
" You can't kill me. You're dead! And I'm the author, I write what I want!"  
  
Si En smiled, " My dear Eddie, in case you haven't noticed, you are in my fic now. Something bad might happen to you if..." She suggested, a cruel smile lurking on her lips.  
  
Eddie grumbled. " I'm not going to promise anything... but I will do my best not to be mushy anymore."  
  
Si En smiled happily. " Well, that is all, since you have promised, all's well that ends well. Fare well. I'll be seeing you soon."  
  
She disappeared in a puff of purple smoke, leaving a rather apprehensive Eddie.  
  
Eddie mumbled, " What did she mean by seeing her soon..." She frowned, grabbed a banana munched on it and pondered about life's shortness. She decided to write her will, just in case. After all, five of her friends died on the same day and they probably didn't think they would die. Oh yes, she would have to attend their funeral. Eddie grinned, knowing Si En, her coffin would be purple satin or something similar.  
  
" Si En, I'll get you purple flowers for your grave." promised Eddie.  
  
In the ghost realm, Si En smiled. "Don't be so sure, my friend." 


	5. The Final Conclusion!

A Fanfiction Writer's Warning  
  
A/N: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! All hail me, the mighty Si En! This is the last chapter for this series. So there. Lybra, I am fully capable of starting and finishing a story. So there.  
  
Disclaimer: I thought I said there is no such thing as a disclaimer? * glares * Never mind. My fic. Happy now? *stares at stupid pple who insist on having a disclaimer *  
  
A not so satisfying conclusion  
  
It was five in the morning. And poor, poor Eddie had only slept for four hours. Thus, she was understandably grumpy when her father woke her up. She could even be pardoned for trying to hit her father in the face. Not that her father would agree.  
  
"Since dad woke me up already, I might as well get up." sighed Eddie as she swung her legs off the bed. The mattress groaned heavily, in protest of her rather considerable weight.  
  
"Shut up, bed. Be glad my cousin doesn't own you."  
  
The bed creaked in horror and kept quiet.  
  
Dear clumsy Eddie accidentally trod on the broken alarm clock. As a matter of fact, she stepped on it rather heavily. Thus, her foot hurt. ( "That's an understatement! Change it!")  
  
She hobbled to the toilet, growling in pain.  
  
The posters badly wanted to snigger but was prevented by memories of savage attacks by a furious Eddie.  
  
Eddie stepped into the toilet and on a bunch a bananas. Apparently, she had woken up in the middle of the night, ate bananas in the toilet and left it there. " Oh no! mom is going to kill me."  
  
She sweatdropped.  
  
After smashing her mug, breaking a few plates and accidentally pulling out a knocker on the way out, Eddie finally got out of the house. Albeit with a little difficulty, her mother was rather upset at her clumsiness.  
  
Eddie sighed with relief when she reached school without anything else happening to her. She thanked the Fates That Be for allowing her to get to the school without mishaps.  
  
" Thank the what do you call 'em, ah, Irony Gods."  
  
That is, before she realised that she had not completed her maths assignment, that was due in the first period of the day. Which was not a good omen. Her maths teacher was fearsomely strict and would not tolerate her handing up late work. Which meant she could not access Internet in the morning. She had to complete her homework. She'd better tell Si En that she would not be in the art room when she suddenly remembered that she dreamed Si En was dead.  
  
" Hah. Si En will kill me for daring to dream about her being dead. I'll leave a note on the door and look for her after that." She decided.  
  
Eddie studiously did her homework and amazingly, completed it before flag raising! ( " Well? Clap!" * claps * )  
  
When she had reached her class, there was a great hullabaloo. Apparently, five students from 4/6 had not turned up.  
  
* IN 4/6 CLASSROOM *  
  
Mrs Chen: I received a message from Si En's father. Apparently, Si En and her five other friends died.  
  
Class: * bursts out in laughter *  
  
Mrs Chen: * glowers * What is so funny?  
  
Geraldine: No more Si En means that no more smart aleck remarks!  
  
Kelly: And poor Elena won't get bullied anymore.  
  
Class: * silent once they grasp the fact that their form teacher was not joking *  
  
Mrs Chew: * bellows * HOW COULD ALL OF YOU BE SO HEARTLESS? * goes off into a blistering lecture *  
  
Unknown to everyone in the class, their ex-classmates were sitting in their usual seats and laughing their heads off.  
  
Si En: HAHAHAHAHAHA. I knew Ger would say that!  
  
Elena: At least they thought kindly of me.  
  
Razz: They didn't even talk about ME! * pouts *  
  
Fen Hui and Yi Han: .  
  
Si En: * mischievously * Wonder what will Eddie say? Since I don't think she believed the dreams.  
  
Elena: Hm, wonder how will Mel react.  
  
Yi Han: * points at Mel Por * There. She is frozen.  
  
Elena: nono, the other mel.  
  
* during recess *  
  
Eddie cheerfully trotted towards 4/6 classroom, which was strangely silent. She would tell her friends about the dreams last time; she could just imagine Si En's offended look or Razz's confused face.  
  
Before that, she walked over to the toilet. Perhaps it was because of her recent contact with many ghosts. Whatever the reason, she could see that there was a large sized black cat sitting on the basin. When it saw Eddie, it's eyes glowed blood-red and it advanced towards Eddie, snarling and spitting.  
  
Due to the fact that she had read too many 'Petshop of Horrors' comics, Eddie was totally intimidated by it. She slowly backed off. Step by step, the two beings moved, one advancing, one retreating.  
  
Eddie teetered on the edge of the staircase, ignoring the gasps of other students. She stared at the cat. " Bad cat! Sit! Stay!"  
  
Too late, she remembered Si En saying that a cat hated to be treated like a dog. The enraged cat fluffed up it's fur and pounced.  
  
Eddie instinctively leapt backwards. Her feet scrabbled for firm ground but were met by unresisting air. She crashed through the windowpane and crumpled on the floor.  
  
Surprisingly, it didn't hurt. Eddie stood up. She saw her friends grinning at her from the smashed window.  
  
" Si En! Fenny! Razz! Wu Gui! Yi Han! Come down! I can't believe I survived this fall!" she shouted, laughing at her luck.  
  
They nodded their affirmative and floated down. Eddie gaped at them, only to notice that under her was a crumpled body. Her body.  
  
" I'm dead?!"  
  
" Don't worry, all of them had the same reaction." assured Fen Hui.  
  
"That's not comforting.and why am I dead?" repeated Eddie.  
  
" Because the toilet cat ghost scared you and you fell down three stories." Answered Wu Gui.  
  
" I told you all there was a toilet ghost but noooo, you don't believe me! Ha!" smirked Si En, grinning annoyingly.  
  
The others rolled their eyes.  
  
" Well, Eddie, let's go. You have to go and be judged."  
  
" Okay."  
  
" Don't worry, I'll tell them all about you and your bad habits."  
  
"So bad!"  
  
The six of them strode off, ignoring the chaos in the school. United once again, the ghosts happily continued their usual banter and conversation. 


End file.
